Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.
-Lisa M. Hayes
Have you ever thought about how much you’ve thought today?
How many thoughts you’ve had?
About anything. About life, about the future, about where you’re walking right now. Or how you’re sitting, or about the noises in the background.
How about yourself, and what you’re doing? Or what you should be doing? Or what you were supposed to have done by now but didn’t, What you wanted to do today but didn’t, about how much times has passed and you still haven’t accomplished x, y, z.
Have you thought about those thoughts?
Do they bother you? Nag you? Make you feel bad?
You are not alone.
We all do it. We all do it every day without realizing it.
Every time we look in the mirror, every time we look at someone else. Every time we see magazines, or websites presenting someone who has done something great, or even our own friends and family or people we see in the store.
We think to ourselves, “I should have been doing that my whole life”, or “I wish I looked like them” or “I wish I could accomplish that”.
This is related to my last post about not comparing yourself to others, but this time I want to focus on how we talk to ourselves.
We think so many tens of thousands times a day, most of which is about ourselves, and much of which is negative without realizing it.
We are having negative dialogues with ourselves.
Without even realizing it!
Why do we do this to ourselves every day??
We are telling ourselves these bad things, for the sake of “motivation” or “reminding ourselves” of what we should be working on, or “focusing on goals” or many other reasons.
HOWEVER, these are not the right ways to do them!
Think of yourself as a little child, free and excited and happy about all the things they’re discovering and experiencing in the world. Would you talk to them the same way?
Would you talk to your best friend, family or spouse the same way?
Of course not!
You would be encouraging to them, complimenting them on their abilities and motivating them to be the best they can be, and to be happy and to accomplish everything that they dream.
Talking to yourself is no different than talking to that child.
Picture that child now as your own inner child. The one that is continually growing, that stumbles, that changes interests, and that just want to be happy and live their dreams.
Picture that child now every time you think to yourself and talk to yourself.
How do you think that child will feel after everything you’ve said?
The goal is to encourage and nourish that child.
Your goal should be encouraging and nourishing yourself, the same as a child.
This way, that child, your inner child, is nourished and encouraged and grows into the best that they can be.
This is a lifetime relationship between you and your inner child.
Discouragement, nagging, and harsh words will only discourage and stunr their growth, preventing them from (and you!) reaching their full potential.
Stop the negative thoughts today.
If you’ve stumbled, pick yourself up like that child with a hug and keep going. If you’ve forgotten something, or gained 20/20 hindsight vision about something, knock it up to experience and know that the future is going to be better. Just like a child going through life.
Don’t discourage yourself, and don’t be hard on yourself.
Wherever you are, just move on and encourage yourself to do the best you can, just like you would anyone else.
Because your relationship with yourself matters more than any other relationship you have, you’re in it for life!
So make it the best relationship that you can 🙂
What times have you realized you’ve been too hard on yourself or have told yourself negative things that you would never tell to anyone else?